June
24, 2012
So,
I find myself needing to process what's going to be happening in the
next 6 weeks. It hits me hard when someone asks me, “Is this your
first?” and my response is, “No, it's our third”. I NEVER IN
A MILLION YEARS thought I'd hear those words come out of my mouth!
It's so strange.
And
so the changes taking place in the next few weeks are big, for us.
New baby, new roles for the boys in our family, Seth will be starting
a special visual tracking therapy as he's not able to make that
connection from brain to eye to follow along (track) while reading,
copying....it's really effecting his learning, boys being more
independent and going to day camp, and the most nerve racking of all
changes.....wait for it......we bought a large car. You know, the
ones where there are sliding doors on the sides, seat 7? Some people
refer to them as mini vans. NOT US.
When
we handed the check over to the man who was selling us the “large
car” he said, “Are you excited?” I looked at him with a dead
pan face and said, “No, I'm thankful but NOT excited.” He
didn't know how to respond. :)
In
all these areas we see God working and moving and providing for us.
So why are all these things rolling over and over and over again in
my mind? I'm human. It gets me every time! So I just continue to
speak truth to myself when fearful and uncertain thoughts come to my
mind. “God has a plan to prosper us.” “A man plans his steps
but the Lord directs his path”. “To obey is better than to
sacrifice.” “A broken spirit and a contrite heart, oh Lord, You
will not despise.” And most importantly, “The joy of the Lord is
my strength”. I was reminded the other week that the more I'm
focused on what's going on around me the less my focus on Him who
takes each of my days through the palms of His hand. NOTHING happens
that He doesn't allow to happen.
This
really frustrates and turns some people off. For me it brings great
comfort. It reminds me, it's not about me. All that's allowed to
happen in my life, in my family, is happening to bring God glory, to
grow His kingdom, and HE has so graciously and mercifully allowed us
to be apart of that.
And
so each moment of the day I say, “Be gone fears, frustrations, and
anxiety! The Lord is bigger than you.” I don't always FEEL
better, but I, once again, aline myself appropriately. “Feelings,
get to the back of the train. Truth (God's truth) is what is the
engine in my life.”
And
away I go, chugging throughout the day. Some day's faster than
others. Some days require lots of stopping and re-alining the train
cars. How are your train cars aligned? What's leading your decision
making, your actions, your responses?
