Getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day for
me. I lay there and dread the fact
that I know I will let God down, I will
let my husband down, I will let my children down, I will let my friends down, I
will let down myself. I will fail. Sounds depressing right? No wonder I have a hard time getting out of bed!
How can any body want
to be with me? I can’t even stand to be with myself
some times. How could Jesus want to die for me in order to be with
me? ME.
It’s hard to understand why God has allowed me to deal with
depression, OCD, anxiety. Why
would He want me to suffer this way.
How can this, this, be good for me, come from a “Good
God”?
I’ve been struggling with this, and I know I’m not the only
one, as one of my friends said the same thing to me the other day. In my heart of hearts I know/believe that God is good and
therefore, that all He does is
good. I just don’t understand
how. How can He use me when I’m
feeling like this?
Do you hear the focus of my first few paragraphs? I’ve made it all about me and my feelings. God can and will
use me for His glory. He also
tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that “His plans are to prosper us, not to harm
us. To give us a hope and a
future.” Do I trust that? Even when I can’t seem to get myself
out of bed?
God gave me a new picture a few months ago about me and my
feelings. I am a bus. The bus needs a driver. I need
to let that driver be God. I need
to be in the second seat, right behind Him, so I can hear Him as He guides me, teaches me. But what I’m finding out is that all to often it’s my feelings that are driving my bus. Now, feelings are very real, but they are not truth. Only God is truth and that is why He needs to drive my
bus. So, every morning I finally
remember this and I tell my feelings to “get to the back of the bus. God’s driving today”. Then, I force myself out of bed, pray
as I walk through the house for God’s strength, God’s focus, God’s joy and I chose
to move forward in victory, whether I feel
victorious or not.
OH MY WORD!!! I
just finished writing this and went on Face book. Here is what I watched! You’ve GOT to watch this! It’s exactly what
I was just writing about! HA! I love it when God does that! Here's the link.
Our pastor just preached about goodness as an attribute of God
this past Sunday. Please listen to
it. It spoke so deeply to my heart
and I pray that it will speak just as deeply to yours.
Pastor Jeff's sermon
Pastor Jeff's sermon
